Salgado Critique

I admit I almost ran out of sympathy for this one…

“She was beautiful like the flowers consumed by fire,
her love was sweet that made me suffer from diabetes, she
was warm I almost felt the heat of her caress now. Her lips
were smooth and her tongue was very luscious like the meat of a beef.”

“Beautiful like the flowers consumed by fire”? Does that make me as beautiful as ashes? Oh, and please pass me the Listerine, since my tongue is like that of the “meat of the beef.” If I was the girl being referred to in the poem, I would find it hard to accept these Salgadian compliments. Salgado made such a dreadful impression on his use of metaphor.

“Eh…Whither now is she?” Alexandria verified as she picked up a glass of strawberry juice and smoothly as she tried to solace her arid esophagus…she drinked and later took a sandwich with a slice of a spam and a cheese placed amid the two pan like the clouds that located at the middle of the world and heaven.”

Salgado never fails to over-exaggerate such simple events. Again, he opted for oversentimentality and the far-off use of metaphor. In this case, short, simple, precise words work best. Try saying, “She drank strawberry juice and ate a spam and cheese sandwich.” Finito.

“The fished river had been altered with sorrow and the water creatures expressed their woeing sympathy to the body buoying with the water together with the silts. The ired river produced a tyrant waves which even the hardest metal made ship could be wrecked because of its seethed anger that seemed avenging the demise of their saviour.”

I am not sure if this made any sense at all. There’s faulty sentence construction, too many unnecessary words and grammar mistakes. This piece is sappy with overblown emotion and a disturbing notion to impress. Salgado made such an obvious abuse of rhetoric.

“My love is ungiven and my sun’s orb is a total
darkness like the rotation of the earth in the Antarctic or
North Pole or South Pole. Six months day. Six
months night. But my life remains to be night.”

The last time I checked, the earth doesn’t revolve around the Antarctic. And by the way, the Antarctic is part of the South Pole. Salgado deliberately tried to deceive his readers.

“Have you ever heard someone who felt in love with a lady without knowing the one he was involved with was a psychotic patient. You know – they went down the city road in holding hands gesture…know what? The man was very happy then because the lady he was with…was on her full bloom…full make up…full eyeliners and most of all…full lipsticks quite reddish tha’s palatable to chum…

“A group of men came down from the completely barred fierra and pulled the lady
to enter into the vehicle…for the conclusion…the man went with her…and they both
became more than enough and less than below. Got what I mean?”

Here, Salgado presumed that his readers would easily discern what it was that he was trying to imply. (“You know? Got what I mean?”) No, I didn’t get what “more than enough and less than below” is, and what “holding hands gesture” exactly is. Did you?