Got off from a three-hour sleep with a headache. Or more aptly, a mild hangover.

Just quick.

It’s wonderful how a few hours of tambay with your friends can help you realize great things and redirect your life to a better track. There we were, scouting Diliman for a place that serves alcohol at 2pm in the afternoon. After having brunch and making tambay (and enjoying the aircon) at Bo’s Coffee we found ourselves at the TomatoKick at Maginhawa Street. And no, we weren’t there to have lunch. Apparently we weren’t the only crazy people who have thought of having a drinking session in such an early (and horribly humid) afternoon; there was already a group of Katipunan-based students who came earlier.

TomatoKick was one funny bar. Funny, because they actually had more unavailable drinks than there were available in the menu. Apparently, they hadn’t any gin or vodka and were forcing tequila and rhum (with soda) on the customers. What kind of bar doesn’t have gin and vodka on a Friday, I don’t know. Anyway, as alcohol hunters can’t be choosers, we spent the afternoon missing out on our planned study session at the library and instead downing a couple pints of tequila and rhum (with soda) and trying to catch up with each other’s acad (eew, I know) and non-acad lives. So after three hours of rich, hearty talk and satisfied liquor-filled guts, we parted ways while I felt spiritually refreshed and more open to life.

Amazing.

What’s the funniest thing in the world?

~ Having a runny nose, wanting to sneeze, but you can’t cover your mouth because you’re refilling the sugar container AND you’re having hiccups all at once.

*s-t-r-u-g-g-l-e*

I've just realized.....

I'm going to be 21 in a few months' time... Diba pimples are prominent mostly during teenage years lang? So, from twenteen, I'm gonna be twenty-one. I hope nothing new pops out from then on. =)

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

My Firsts Today.

First time I jogged outdoors.
First time I frolicked in UP during any semestral break.
First time Sam and I drove to UP.
First time Sam and I jogged together.
First time I circled the acad oval. Twice.*
First time I covered 4.4 kilometers (yes, that’s 4,400 meters) on foot, and in less than an hour. (outside a mall)
First time I made tambay at the AS Parking Lot at 7am in the morning. With a cup of taho.
First time I let Sam talk me into going to the gym with him.
First time I went to the gym.
First time someone spelled my name as S-Y-N-Z-Y.
First time I did a full-body workout outside the dance studio.
First time I felt my shin muscles work. (tibialis anterior)
First time I felt pain in my shin muscles.
First time I realized there actually were muscles at the shin.
First time I skipped dance classes in the afternoon because I couldn’t get up from bed.

*The acad oval is 2.2 kilometers (2,200 meters) long.

can u spell S-W-E-E-T??

Just got home from dance class and rehearsals...
Wanna hear the sweetest thing? My hubby sAm waited for me for THREE hours!! In the waiting room! While we pranced around! Miracles of all miracles! After counting all the tiles in the waiting room and all the rooftops he could see from the balcony (our studio was at the top/4th floor of the building), and after counting his pulse for 10 minutes, he wasn't mad at all! (I think. Notwithstanding the fact that I lied to him that the class/reh would only be for two hours... Or not!) I was expecting him to say something like, "This is definitely going to be the last time" and give me a look that would make me put my head inside my shoebag. As we were on our way home ---

Sam: *whispers* You wanna know the real reason why I went with you to your studio? (which REALLY happens once in a blue moon)
Me: Because you banged somebody and you want to make yourself feel better.
Sam: *blinks* Kasi mahal kita.
Me: *flashes a close-up million-dollar smile*
Sam: How fake. *laughs*

Harhar! Thanksalot baybee! You know I love you too! muah! :)

My winning entry

Well what do you know... I actually have Lady Luck hiding up my sleeve...



You can see it online at the Hershey's Happiness site.
Sweet! ^________^

Hear us out when we say...

End hunger and poverty now!

Bored in class

"I have this weird fear: I'm afraid I'll witness a divine apparition. I'm afraid that Jesus or the Blessed Virgin Mary or St. Teresa of Avila will materialize in my kitchen and dictate messages of earth-shaking importance. Then I'll be carrying around some terrible knowledge, like the exact date of the end of the world, and all the horrors that will precede it--plagues, scorpions, politicians and such. I'll have to tell everyone to repent or to roast in eternal hellfire, not to mention that all sorts of strangers will want to gawk at my kitchen and they'll track dirt all over my apartment. The worst part is that I'll be written about by a bunch of scuzzballs much like myself, and they'll call me a fraud and a raving loon (they will not be far wrong) and dismiss me as an opportunist...What makes this fear truly irrational is that I am the last person whom a divine entity will appear. This is not humility--I mean it. I am nasty, I have a horrible temper, and I say awful things...The point of all of this is I'm a jerk. I'm not proud of it, and I do make an effort to be good, but that's that. As Wayne and Garth so succinctly put it, I'm not worthy."

--Jessica Zafra, great columnist, to whom I owe much of my sarcasm

My eyelids feel heavy and I willingly sink into a dream, the one where Colin Farrell’s giving me a full-body massage. He has just finished working on my derriere when a voice slices through my consciousness like a fork scraping on a blackboard. My eyelids fly open and Colin disappears.

Aargh! There goes my predator classmate. Always sitting on the edge of her seat, frothing at the mouth, ready to jump on the professor. Now we're subjected to her intellectual mercy. Finally, she shuts up, a smug expression displayed on her face, fully believing she's contributed something to the sum of human knowledge.

The professor is killing us with boredom. Listening to him is as exciting as watching a person breathe.

Zzzzzzz....

Anagrams. I’m writing with my left hand. This is fun. Dormitory becomes "Dirty room," the countryside becomes "No city dust here," mother-in-law becomes "Woman Hitler." Fits, ha ha ha. Now I’m exercising both sides of my brain. Ever since I was beamed up into an alien mothership where an extraterrestrial device was planted in my head, I have realized that I was destined to dominate the universe. Thus, any brain exercise is highly welcomed. And no, I don’t consider those disturbing TV quiz shows where any half-awake moron can have his 15 seconds of fame whereas the circus ringmaster, er, host, can prove that she is the Moron Master well beyond the show.

Correct!

crack me up

Ehem!

By now, you guys might probably be thinking that I have a penchant for photojournalism. Or that I have an eye for the uncouth. Or just maybe that I am an emasculating bitch bent on thrashing the thrash-worthy. Nah-uh! I don't look around for stuffs like this; things like this come to me for no reason at all! *sardonic laughter*

I was sitting at the back of this certain class, quietly minding my own business, when my line of eyesight managed to droop downwards. "(Friend's name)," I whispered, " is it just my imagination, or am I seeing crack?" My friend inhaled a big gulp of air, then exploded laughing. "Dude, kadiri naman yan!" Then after regaining her breath, she said, "Tara, picture-an naten!"

"Kaw na lang dude," I said, "I don't wanna save trash in my phone." And after giving it a double thought, I took out my phone and took a pic. This sounds like naughty blog material, I thought.

FOOLIN'!

Rather, I thought that this would teach mah gurls a lesson 'bout having ta double check their backsides after taking their seats. I mean, I admit that this sticky situation has happened to me too, accidentally, and it could actually be very embarrassing when someone has to tip you off about it. Or especially if you have a line of perverts armed with cameraphones seated behind you. (That didn't happen to me! Or... if it did, I wouldn't have any idea)

Peeps, if you're offended, let me know. I'll delete this entry.

secret serenade

As I listened to the music, I pictured a dainty little butterfly, gracefully fluttering amongst beautifully-colored flowers. It is simple and natural, yet it seemed so majestic. Then it is joined by another butterfly, and the two exquisite creatures flitted around the garden. Suddenly, a dozen other butterflies entered the scene, ruining the intimacy of the moment. Eventually, the other butterflies left. Then the two butterflies, alone again, flitted, fluttered, and disappeared to the sky.

--Music from Secrets

melodrama

I’m sorry I can’t watch you as you sleep
You’re as cold as a tomb, and I’m as dark as you are
I’m all alone, contemplating, reminiscing,
Gazing at the brightest star in the center of my black sky

Just go on falling asleep, angel
And I’ll try my best not to fall apart
It’s all so quiet now, angel
I’m sorry I can’t watch you as you sleep

You’re stunning grace is the only thing that moves me to breathe
Still I can’t find the strength to wipe these tears off my cheek
You’re sent to me by the heavens, but they had to take you back
And I never actually figured you’re this painful to miss

Just go on falling asleep, angel
And I’ll go on my days falling apart
It’s all so quiet now, angel
I’m sorry I can’t watch you as you sleep

How much I hate to talk about you in the past tense
But you were the best thing that happened to me
I’ll cry myself to sleep and hope to dream about you
So I can kiss you, embrace you, and say goodnight

--Music from Romeo & Juliet

Ending the Buffy episode

The monster suddenly appears. Buffy fights off the monster. Jonathan sees this as an opportunity to escape. He dashes out to the entrance of the cave. Meanwhile, with her extraordinary slayer powers, Buffy manages to German Suflex the big, limpy creature. While falling into the depths of the pit, the monster cries out: “Curse thy endeavor to clout in an un-Hiltonesque manner of succumbing to your frigid urge to annihilate the mistakenly disfigured corporeal sentiNELLL!!!” in perfect Salgadian English.

“He could talk!” Buffy exclaims, “Such eloquence!”

Everything goes back to normal. Jonathan’s augmentation spell is finally broken.

Outside, Jonathan runs into the gang. He is unaware that they had already gone back to their original states of mind.

“Where’s Buffy?” Xander demands.

“I don’t know,” Jonathan answers back.

“There she is!” Willow points near the entrance of the cave, “She looks fine to me.”

“Okay, you little twit!” Anya starts, “You think you could just get away trying to brainwash everybody? We know what you have done!” The former demon-enchantress points a finger at Jonathan and says, “Dormio penetranter!”

At that instant, Jonathan falls to the ground, cursed asleep.

Xander is so impressed he takes Anya home and makes out with her. This time, the whole neighborhood is witness to Anya’s moaning of “Xander… Xa-aander…”

At the end of the same year, the geek god Jonathan wins a Nobel Prize for his discovery of a cure for narcolepsy and makes the cover of Time Man of the Year.

Fin.

Salgado Critique

I admit I almost ran out of sympathy for this one…

“She was beautiful like the flowers consumed by fire,
her love was sweet that made me suffer from diabetes, she
was warm I almost felt the heat of her caress now. Her lips
were smooth and her tongue was very luscious like the meat of a beef.”

“Beautiful like the flowers consumed by fire”? Does that make me as beautiful as ashes? Oh, and please pass me the Listerine, since my tongue is like that of the “meat of the beef.” If I was the girl being referred to in the poem, I would find it hard to accept these Salgadian compliments. Salgado made such a dreadful impression on his use of metaphor.

“Eh…Whither now is she?” Alexandria verified as she picked up a glass of strawberry juice and smoothly as she tried to solace her arid esophagus…she drinked and later took a sandwich with a slice of a spam and a cheese placed amid the two pan like the clouds that located at the middle of the world and heaven.”

Salgado never fails to over-exaggerate such simple events. Again, he opted for oversentimentality and the far-off use of metaphor. In this case, short, simple, precise words work best. Try saying, “She drank strawberry juice and ate a spam and cheese sandwich.” Finito.

“The fished river had been altered with sorrow and the water creatures expressed their woeing sympathy to the body buoying with the water together with the silts. The ired river produced a tyrant waves which even the hardest metal made ship could be wrecked because of its seethed anger that seemed avenging the demise of their saviour.”

I am not sure if this made any sense at all. There’s faulty sentence construction, too many unnecessary words and grammar mistakes. This piece is sappy with overblown emotion and a disturbing notion to impress. Salgado made such an obvious abuse of rhetoric.

“My love is ungiven and my sun’s orb is a total
darkness like the rotation of the earth in the Antarctic or
North Pole or South Pole. Six months day. Six
months night. But my life remains to be night.”

The last time I checked, the earth doesn’t revolve around the Antarctic. And by the way, the Antarctic is part of the South Pole. Salgado deliberately tried to deceive his readers.

“Have you ever heard someone who felt in love with a lady without knowing the one he was involved with was a psychotic patient. You know – they went down the city road in holding hands gesture…know what? The man was very happy then because the lady he was with…was on her full bloom…full make up…full eyeliners and most of all…full lipsticks quite reddish tha’s palatable to chum…

“A group of men came down from the completely barred fierra and pulled the lady
to enter into the vehicle…for the conclusion…the man went with her…and they both
became more than enough and less than below. Got what I mean?”

Here, Salgado presumed that his readers would easily discern what it was that he was trying to imply. (“You know? Got what I mean?”) No, I didn’t get what “more than enough and less than below” is, and what “holding hands gesture” exactly is. Did you?

uncouth behavior part deux

Need I explain?

Salgadian English

Note: This isn't meant to be taken seriously...

The primary circulatory organ of this body system that I breathe life into throbs in anticipation of the shrieking tempo produced by the illustrious Alexander Graham Bell production. Alas! I get to witness the deep, resounding baritone of my much-loved beloved significant other half of my mango-shaped heart. This severely hot yearning I reminisce briskwalking through my blooded veins so pulls me into Nirvana like an petty fragment of the most rubbish-y metal being anchored to the shore by a magnet. It pulls me in and takes me on and fazes my senses to the optimum.